that we are human and we do make mistakes.
Sometimes the funniest things in life are not those we make up but those that happen to us. We say things, write things and do things that we think are correct but somehow they come out different. Sometimes it's embarrassing for us and surprising for others, but often it's too funny to be forgotten. Here is my collection of Life's Bloopers.
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Accident Reports 2 female Boston Terrier puppies, 7 wks old, perfect markings, 555-1234. Leave mess.The Bible According to Kids Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do one to others before they do one to you. He also explained, "Man doth not live by sweat alone."Church Bulletins The 1991 Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 & 11. Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to the church secretary.Courtroom Bloopers Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people? A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.English Misuse in Signs In a Bangkok temple: "It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man."Family Feud Q: Name a number you have to memorize. A: 7.Foreign Brands Polio (detergent, Czechoslovakia)Instruction Labels On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use."Newspaper Headlines William Kelly, 87, was Fed SecretaryOn the Beat "I know, I know! Your kid is an honour student at the juvenile detention centre."School Excuse Notes Please excuse Tom for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea and his boots leak.Things Kids Say (Regarding what do most people do on a date?) "On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date." In accordance with your instructions, I have given birth to twins in the enclosed envelope.What the Doctors Wrote The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.Young Scientists When oxygen is combined with anything, heat is given off. This is knows as constipation. |