that we are human and we do make mistakes.
Sometimes the funniest things in life are not those we make up but those that happen to us. We say things, write things and do things that we think are correct but somehow they come out different. Sometimes it's embarrassing for us and surprising for others, but often it's too funny to be forgotten. Here is my collection of Life's Bloopers.
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Accident Reports 2 female Boston Terrier puppies, 7 wks old, perfect markings, 555-1234. Leave mess.The Bible According to Kids Moses died before he ever reached the UK.Church Bulletins Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.Courtroom Bloopers Q: Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated? A: By death. Q: And by whose death was it terminated?English Misuse in Signs In a Belgrade hotel elevator: "To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order."Family Feud Q: Name a famous royal. A: Mail.Foreign Brands Pipi (orangeade, Yugoslovia)Instruction Labels On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands."Newspaper Headlines Local High School Dropouts Cut In HalfOn the Beat "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey poop."School Excuse Notes I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I don't know what size she wear.Things Kids Say (Regarding on the role of beauty and handsomeness in love) "Beauty is skin deep. But how rich you are can last a long time." My husband got his project cut off about two weeks ago and I haven't had any relief since.What the Doctors Wrote The patient refused an autopsy.Young Scientists One hydrogin martini, hold the water. |