This web page is dedicated to those who remind us that we are human and we do make mistakes.

Sometimes the funniest things in life are not those we make up but those that happen to us. We say things, write things and do things that we think are correct but somehow they come out different. Sometimes it's embarrassing for us and surprising for others, but often it's too funny to be forgotten. Here is my collection of Life's Bloopers.

10218 Home > CATEGORIES Accident Reports I saw a slow-moving, sad-faced old gentleman as he bounced off the hood of my car. Ad Typos Wanted: Unmarried girls to pick fresh fruit and produce at night. The Bible According to Kids King David fought with the Finkelsteins, a race of people who lived in the Biblical times. Church Bulletins On Sunday, a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the carpet, please come forward and get a piece of paper. Courtroom Bloopers Q: What is your brother-in-law's name? A: Borofkin. Q: What's his first name? A: I can't remember. Q: He's been your brother-in-law for years, and you can't remember his first name? A: No. I tell you I'm too excited. (Rising from the witness chair and pointing to Mr. Borofkin.) Nathan, for God's sake, tell them your first name! English Misuse in Signs On the door of a Moscow hotel room: "If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it." Family Feud Q: Name something a blind person might use. A: A sword. Foreign Brands Last Climax (paper tissues, Japan) Instruction Labels On a Korean kitchen knife: "Warning keep out of children." Newspaper Headlines Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge On the Beat "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey poop." School Excuse Notes Mary could not come to school because she has been bothered by very close veins. Things Kids Say (Regarding on the role of beauty and handsomeness in love) "Beauty is skin deep. But how rich you are can last a long time."  - Christine, age 9 Welfare Requests Unless I get my husband's money pretty soon, I will be forced to lead an immortal life. What the Doctors Wrote Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches. Young Scientists Some people say we condescended from the apes.

Life's Bloopers was last updated on 2010 March 12