that we are human and we do make mistakes.
Sometimes the funniest things in life are not those we make up but those that happen to us. We say things, write things and do things that we think are correct but somehow they come out different. Sometimes it's embarrassing for us and surprising for others, but often it's too funny to be forgotten. Here is my collection of Life's Bloopers.
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Accident Reports Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast.The Bible According to Kids St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached holy acrimony, which is another name for marriage.Church Bulletins Wednesday, the Ladies Literary Society will meet. Mrs. Johnson will sing "Put Me in My Little Bed" accompanied by the Pastor.Courtroom Bloopers Q: And lastly, Gary, all your responses must be oral, okay? What school do you go to? A: Oral. Q: How old are you? A: Oral.English Misuse in Signs In a Tokyo Hotel: "Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such a thing is please not to read notis."Family Feud Q: Name a non-living object with legs. A: Plant.Foreign Brands Fockink (liqueur, Netherlands)Instruction Labels On a hair dryer: "Do not use while sleeping."Newspaper Headlines Death Causes Loneliness, Feelings of IsolationOn the Beat "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"School Excuse Notes Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.Things Kids Say (Regarding some surefire ways to make a person fall in love with you) "Don't do things like have smelly, green sneakers. You might get attention, but attention ain't the same thing as love." Mrs. Jones has not had any clothes for two years and has been visited regularly by the clergy.What the Doctors Wrote The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed.Young Scientists Algebra was the wife of Euclid. |