This web page is dedicated to those who remind us
that we are human and we do make mistakes.

Sometimes the funniest things in life are not those we make up but those that happen to us. We say things, write things and do things that we think are correct but somehow they come out different. Sometimes it's embarrassing for us and surprising for others, but often it's too funny to be forgotten. Here is my collection of Life's Bloopers.


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Accident Reports
I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.

Ad Typos
We build bodies that last a lifetime.

The Bible According to Kids
David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar.

Church Bulletins
Due to the Rector's illness, Wednesday's healing services will be discontinued until further notice.

Courtroom Bloopers
Q: The truth of the matter is that you were not an unbiased, objective witness, isn't it? You too were shot in the fracas?
A: No, sir. I was shot midway between the fracas and the navel.

English Misuse in Signs
In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: "Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists."

Family Feud
Q: Name something that flies that doesn't have an engine.
A: A bicycle with wings.

Foreign Brands
Superglans (car wax, Netherlands)

Instruction Labels
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."

Newspaper Headlines
Half of U.S. High Schools Require Some Study for Graduation

On the Beat
"God must love stupid people, 'cause he sure made a lot of them."

School Excuse Notes
Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.

Things Kids Say
(Regarding when is it okay to kiss someone?)
"When they're rich."  - Pam, age 7

Welfare Requests
Unless I get my husband's money pretty soon, I will be forced to lead an immortal life.

What the Doctors Wrote
She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.

Young Scientists
A liter is a nest of young baby animals.


 
Life's Bloopers was last updated on 2010 March 12